Positive psychology, belief in the relevance of what is happening, awareness that everything is happening in time, that the Higher Powers (God, Universe) will help us in our affairs — are integral and important components of my worldview and life philosophy. 

For many years I have been engaged in personal growth and spiritual development and cannot imagine my world and work without them.

However, for many years I have had a hard time thinking about the reverse side of the coin. It is important, but not much discussed. Let’s first talk about the fact that everything has its time and what to do with it, and in the next article we will talk about positive psychology.

Analyzing various discussions with my clients and students as well as my colleagues and classmates, at some point I began to notice that many people interpret the concepts of timeliness of events, trust in life, God, the universe (each according to his faith) in a very unfortunate context: “do nothing and somehow everything will be fine. 

It reminds me of this age-old joke, in which, some guy prays to G-d wishing to win in the lottery and after many years without any result. And then he hears a booming voice from above: “YOU SHOULD AT EAST BUY A TICKET!” 

Nevertheless, life shows that this anecdote is still relevant and in the modern world such behavior can be called a passive life position when certain defense mechanisms of subconsciousness and self-deception tell a person that it is best to do nothing and life itself will be prosperous and happy. It is only necessary to wait…

To escape long parables, stories, tales, and fables, let me give you some clues right away. So just from recalling your speaking habits, you’ll be able to check if it may be the case that you are avoiding buying that ticket as well. So straight to the point.

I’ll start with the common word combinations we use. If you often prefer passive forms, saying something like “it’s gonna work”, “it will get better”, “it will add up”, “everything will work out” – this should already raise a red flag. Of course, in some life situations you need to be able to hold back for a while, but in most cases thinking that something will fix itself, settle itself, and figure itself out – wouldn’t be a successful strategy.

And now to about how we build our sentences:

* The biggest category starts with “If it’s fate…” – most often, people manipulate the word “fate” or “destiny”  to do nothing and to avoid analyzing anything, somehow hoping, that money, luck, success, love or all at once will fall on them from the sky. Well, why wouldn’t it? Well, if fate…

I can’t resist one example: In one conversation, an acquaintance told me that she and her husband do not bother to buy a house and do not feel the need in it. I met them at the seminar on spiritual topics and I thought to myself: “maybe this couple is just that much not materialists they really don’t need to have a place of their own”. But she then added the phrase: “I think that if we are destined to have an apartment of our own, it will somehow become”.  Isn’t it interesting? The apartment itself will show up. The seminar was held in Israel and real estate prices there are more expensive than in most cities in the U.S., and also at least 20% percent down payment is required in order to get a mortgage. So, how is that even possible, that something like that will just “Somehow become”?

“I won’t change anything! If I’m destined to work there, they’ll just like my resume as is.” It is a great way not to work on one’s resume. But it’s certainly not a way to get a job. So don’t confuse the two.

“If we are supposed to be together, he or she will understand and feel me, no matter what I do, say or how I behave”. What?! If you are older than 15 and you still believe in this, I will even write a separate article for you later, but no, if YOUR person is not a clairvoyant or a psychologist with a trained eye, he or she won’t have a chance to get to know the real you, if you are playing or push them away.  Be brave to be yourself. You are a unique and beautiful soul, you don’t need any masks. 

I think at this point the idea is quite clear. People would just fool themselves with words about G-d’s conduct, destiny, and appropriateness of everything that happens just to avoid actually doing anything (having active life position).

Believing that everything happens for a reason, at the right time and that G-d/Universe/Life helps us, is to realizing that we are CO-CREATORS of our reality and we interact with the outside world to achieve our goals and dreams. And in this interaction our actions play not the least role.

So be honest with yourself, strive for your goals, and make your dreams reality by taking responsibility and doing everything that depends on you to achieve desired outcome.

If you feel that you need help and assistance in making decisions and taking action check information about our Coaching Programs and “Personal Growth and Self-Coaching” course.

I wish you luck!

PS:  Please be aware, that this and any other articles on “The Person of Spirit” website are my personal opinion and conclusions that are NOT guide to action \ inaction or legal advice of any kind. 

(с) All rights to this publication belong only to the author – Alina Miropolsky